Oh yea baby

Oh yea baby

Big gums little teeth

I'm hanging out with a girl I used to work with one night. Her guy friend is there with us and starts asking me a million questions about why I dont have a boyfriend and what my ideal guy is like. So I tell him my checklist: atttractive, good job with decent money, college degree, sarcastic/funny sense of humor, outgoing, catholic, no more than 30 years old, never married, and not domineering (I would like to be able to push him around a bit). So he says he has the perfect guy for me and wants to set me up. I say fine because I obviously will date anyone at this point. The guy calls me and sounds really nice on the phone, he picks out a nice restaurant and we talk for the rest of the week through text messaging until the night of the date. He picks me up that night and the first thing I notice is that he has glasses and looks kinda dorky. Ok, no big deal. I can get over that. I get in the car and we have driven for about 5 minutes when he tells me that he broke up with his ex girlfriend because she was boring, and not good in bed. He even went so far as to say she only likes in missionary. THIS IS AFTER 5 MINUTES of small talk! Ok, fine, so we get to the restaurant and I order wine. He asks me if I plan on kissing him. I just look at him and laugh and he says, "well Im allergic to wine". Who the hell is allergic to wine? We sit down and eat, I drink 3 more glasses of wine because its like pulling teeth to have a conversation with him. He says he is nervous, I tell him to drink more and he will loosen up and I try to convince him Im not that scary. Then, I decide to ask him if he has ever tried contact lenses. He says "no, why, should I take off my glasses?". I say well then you wont be able to see. He proceeds to take them off and squints at me, trying to insist that he can see. Im assuming he was attempting to do this for me. I dont know. He gets tired of squinting and puts them back on. I was just trying to make small talk, I could care less if he wears glasses or not. Dinner ends, we get in the car and I tell him I want to meet my friend at a bar. He tells me he will drop me off there but he is not coming in cause he is not a bar person. He asks me several times if I want to watch a movie with him. Obviously I refuse. He drops me at home. Havent heard from him since.

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